TLDR: The Buddy System

Too Long Dad Recap

Summer is winding down here in the suburbs. Sunsets are getting earlier, the brutal heat is giving way to milder temperatures, and online school starts soon.

As the seasons turn, a few things don’t change for me. My garage remains my sanctuary, where I put forth consistent effort towards improving the practice of lifting weights to get stronger, look and feel better.

Also, no change to my status as an employee working from home…which afforded me some extra time to edit and post a video about my birthday Dadathon I wrote about a few weeks ago…click here to read more about it and watch the video.

Things I Consumed this Week

• Dave Tate Squat Video
  • Earlier this week, I posted a super cut of a squat workout on Instagram and Twitter, showing reps as the weight got progressively heavier.
  • My video highlights clearly how my form peaks 50 pounds below the top single and gets worse until I hit 315 pounds, which was around RPE 8.5.
  • Someone saw the video and sent me a link to this Dave Tate squat video, which I found useful.
  • It is 40 minutes long, but it was great to see what he cues and what he looks at when working with a lifter.
  • If you’re like me and you struggle with form and cues on the squat, then you should probably get a coach.
  • But if you’re like me and you want to figure it out on your own, free advice on the Internet like this is very helpful.
• Mark Bell on Strength & Leadership Podcast from MorningLifter
  • Mark Bell, what a great get for the podcast by my friend Shawn at Morning Lifter! Apparently just DM’ed him.
  • I don’t agree with all the things Mark Bell is about, but I love his story about creating the Slingshot bench then building a business around it. He goes through that and a lot more in this great conversation with Shawn.

Things I Ate this Week

This week was a busy one at work, so there weren’t as many opportunities to cook the anabolic recipes I’ve been making lately. But my nutrition was on point generally. The goal with this week was to re-establish my maintenance calorie level as the starting point after the diet break.

My 7-day trailing average weight ended the week at 171.4lbs, my lowest reading since I began daily tracking back in April 2019. Weight fluctuated throughout the week, reaching a 5-year low of 170.2lbs on Thursday that was followed by 172.4 the following day. That big swing freaked me out a bit, but I got over it.

Despite wild swings in daily weight, I think I established that my new maintenance is around 2,200 calories. The plan from here is to start cutting calories and ramping up cardio, with the ultimate goal of hitting a 165lb in 6 weeks or so. This week’s targets are:

• 2,100 calories daily
• Minimum 12,000 steps daily
• One 30-minute cardio session of jogging or incline walking
• One interval rowing session for 15 minutes
• Eat lots of high volume foods with low calories (or in the case of ice, no calories)

Those may seem like low cardio numbers for someone who’s trying to lose weight, but I am also lifting heavy weight 4 days a week and stayin pretty active.

Things I Lifted this Week: Consistently Inconsistent

This was the third week of my 12-week strength program. Things are progressing well, with some inconsistency week to week.

• Sunday was deadlift, bench press and some SSB squats
  • Worked up to 385lbs single on competition deadlift with belt, which moved ok
  • Then I followed that with several sets of 305lbs on paused beltless deadlift in preparation for Wednesday
• Tuesday was heavy squats, then overhead press and pendlay rows
  • Worked up to 315lbs single, followed by 5 sets of 5 reps at 255lbs (-20% back off sets)
  • Overhead press top single at RPE was only 135lbs, with the
• Wednesday was end of first cycle testing for paused, beltless deadlifts
  • I reached 355lbs top single, a new PR and failed at 370lbs
  • That was followed by close grip bench press and romanian deadlifts.
  • I maybe should have waited until Thursday to hit deadlifts, rather than do it less than 24 hours after the above squat session, because I might have hit a higher weight.
• Friday was beltless squats, slingshot bench and close grip incline bench.
  • When I started, I tried squatting the empty bar and only got about halfway down.
  • It took a long time after that before I was loose enough to add weight.
  • The squats went ok eventually, but the slingshot bench restored my faith a bit and I hit a 260lbs triple.
  • My squats are my most inconsistent lift, some days the form is on point and others it feels bad and looks worse.

Liftng form dysmorphia is a real thing when it comes to squats and deadlifts. My form probably isn’t as bad as I think it looks, because I think it looks like Charles Barkley trying to hit a golf ball.

Dad Report: You’ve Got a Friend in Me!

I was listening to Ryen Russilo on his podcast take a listener question from someone who said he was married and around my age (mid to late 30s) and was having a tough time making new friends. He said he thought he was a good hang, but he couldn’t seem to break into a friendship. I actually have some experience with this issue.

Making friends as an adult is a serious challenge for someone coming into a new suburb area. I’ve moved around as a adult several times, bouncing around from suburbs of Boston, Houston, Austin and most recently Philadelphia.

I don’t go to church, which is a useful way for some people to break into a community. I also don’t drink, making breaking the ice at adult events more of a challenge. But otherwise, I’m a good hang. I am pretty open-minded, very reliable, full of pop culture references, and I can talk sports. What’s not to like?

I’ve lived in this area for 7 years now, and I am just now starting to make some good friends locally. Not having any family in the area or roots of any kind slows the process. I struck out with other dads in the neighborhood, despite my fully-stocked garage gym that I’m not shy about sharing.

I also struck out as a volunteer coach for my older two kids teams over the last 7 years. It wasn’t until the last 12 months that I finally clicked with some dads while coaching my third child’s teams.

Comment below if you have any tips for readers on building new friendships so late in the game.

Social Media to the Rescue

None of this bothers me much as an introvert with 3 really awesome kids and my wife to hang out with. Also, with social media, I’ve been able to connect with folks around the world who are interested in getting stronger.

I have more meaningful friendships from both Twitter and Instagram relationships than with anyone I’ve met locally. Thanks to all of you out there. You are a testament to the good that can come from crippling addiction to social media.

With ongoing migration of people from urban to suburban areas, this issue will only grow worse. I expect the challenges of new connections as a middle-aged dad will only grow larger from here.

Thanks for reading and following along here at DadLifting. Keep it on the DL…